Body language is as important for children as it is for adults. Even in the sandpit, if you are not able to communicate well, you are unlikely to have positive interactions with your peers. For this reason, it is important for people of all ages (young and old alike) to learn how to communicate effectively in all sorts of situations.
Of all the ways that people communicate, body language and other forms of non-verbal communication are the most important. This is because studies consistently show that verbal messages communicated are just part of the message – there is much more to communication than that. We all know this instinctively – or do we?
As parents, we are responsible for giving our kids a good start in life. One of the most common aspects of life that parents worry about is the social aspect. We’re not talking social networking (it’s a little too early for things such as Facebook) – we’re talking about basic social skills that your children need to get on with others. These skills are absolutely necessary in the lives of your children as they develop and grow. Increasingly, as they become more and more independent, they will interact with other children outside the family – but how do we as parents help them do this successfully?
The most important thing about communication is not to be heard, but to be clearly understood. While it is agreed that the majority of communication is non-verbal, it’s hard to be exact. In our research we have read studies that state 93% of communication is non-verbal – that’s way too exact really. In reality, most experts agree that the figure is more accurately something between 60 to 80%.
3 key points to teach your children about body language
- It starts with eye contact
Eye Contact © by tarotastic
If someone is looking elsewhere when they are talking to you, how do you feel? Chances are you feel that they don’t really care too much about you or your conversation. You may likely feel that their attention lies elsewhere – and for good reason too. While it might not be true, that is the message that the speaker is sending when they don’t look at the person they are speaking to.
It is as true of the President of the United States as it is to little Johnny.If you are speaking to someone, it is important to look them in the eye. Don’t try and stare them down, but making and maintaining eye contact is very important. Teaching your children this skill will mean that people will listen to them when they are speaking, and more importantly, they will actually believe them and place value in their statements.
- It continues with giving feedback
Listening to people is even more important to talking to people. The reason for this is that if someone is taking the time and making the effort to talk to you, it is polite to listen. A common saying is that one should listen twice as much as one speaks- and that is very, very true. Listening is a skill which is entirely centred around giving feedback to the speaker.Listening is not standing impassively while someone else speaks – it is essential that you convey that you care and are actually listening. What this means is by doing little things like looking at the speaker (remember the thing about eye contact?), nodding and smiling. Making little noises and saying things like “uh huh” and “ok” for example are simple things to do to make it clear to the speaker that you really are listening to what they have to say
- Lastly, it’s a matter of patience
Sometimes, communication can be a frustrating challenge – the key to everything is patience. If you are misunderstood, try and say it again in a different way. If you misunderstand, tell them what you think they said. It can be really hard to communicate effectively – look at your own family, I’m sure there are a few poor communicators in every family.If you are patient, and put frustration aside, your social communication skills will improve – not because you got an A in communication, but because you cared enough to make the effort to get it right. It means a lot to big people as well as little people.
If your kids know a few tricks about communication, their social skills and lives will be vastly different from those kids who don’t have much of an idea. While some children are instinctively good, solid communicators, others are not – and it falls upon us as parents to make their social journey easier by teaching them a few skills in the communication department.
